The Four Window Panes Of Your Life
There is a lack of true mentorship available in the world today. This is especially true, in the world of network marketing. There are people thirsting to learn what it takes to build a successful and profitable business, just waiting for someone to coach them towards success. Without question, if they had a mentor in their life, they could get it done, and get it done right.
I’m not talking to those people today. I’m also not talking to those “mentors” who aren’t quite sure how to be the best mentor they can possibly be. Some people find themselves in a mentor capacity based solely on their position in the line of sponsorship. They didn’t sign up to be a leader, they signed up to make a few extra bucks selling _________. Those are both topics I’ll cover another day.
Today, I’m talking to a group of people who most likely don’t even know they’re a group. Who, you may ask, is that? These are the people who actually do have a mentor in their life, but have no clue how to ACCEPT mentorship. Uh oh, I can hear the crickets chirping. I realize I may have lost a few of you here, but I’m going to keep going anyway.
First, let’s carve out a working definition of what mentorship actually is. Wikipedia calls mentorship “a personal development relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. So ask yourself this question: In my business, right now, do I have someone more experienced or knowledgeable than I am, who is willing to help me personally develop?
If the answer is yes, but you’re not growing, then I hate to break it to you, but the problem is YOU. See, here’s what I know. Most people don’t want a mentor. What they actually want is an acceptor. They want someone who will validate the dumb decisions that they’ve already decided to move forward with before they even speak to their mentor.
Most people just have the completely wrong view of mentorship. They view any form of feedback as criticism. They don’t want to be told that the way they’re doing things could be wrong, that the ideas they have that thousands of people tried before them that didn’t work won’t work for them either, and they CERTAINLY don’t want to be told that they’re not the perfect examples of everything perfect they believe themselves to be.
A mentor, a coach, a Yoda, whatever you want to call them, has one role and one role only. Their charge is to provide you with what you NEED to achieve your greatest level of success. But what happens is that when they focus on giving you what you need, and your focus is on getting from them what you WANT, there’s a disconnect. But understand, the disconnect is on YOUR end.
A long time ago, I learned about what’s called the Four Window Panes of Your Life. I’m going to warn you now, I’m going to mention God in this post, so if the mention of God offends you, don’t read it. Maybe the information in this post doesn’t apply to you anyway, and maybe it won’t help you grow your business. I’m just telling it the way that I heard it
The first window pane in your life is the things you know about yourself that everybody knows. You have red hair, you’re skinny, you look like Beyonce, you need a haircut, etc. All of the things that can be determined by your 5 senses are contained in this window pane. It takes little to no effort to figure these out.
The second window pane is the things only you and God know about you. That you’re afraid of the dark, that you cheated on the SAT’s, that you secretly listen to Barry Manilow albums and cried at the Care Bears movie.
That you sometimes doubt whether you’re good enough, smart enough, brave enough, wise enough, good looking enough or funny enough to do what it is that you need to do in order to be successful. Until you’re ready to be honest with yourself about what’s in this window pane, it will be next to impossible for you to experience any real growth.
Then, there are the things God knows about you, that you don’t even know about yourself. What you were put on the Earth to do, the people’s lives you were sent to have an impact on, when and how you’re going to die, the full potential of the greatness that lives inside you. All done with my references to God, unless you want to chat about him personally with me. Then, just feel free to shoot me a message.
For the purposes of this post, I’ve switched these last two around, so that it makes sense, but the final window pane is the things I know about you that you don’t know about you. And when I say I, let’s substitute I out with YOUR MENTOR’S NAME. It’s in your ability to receive feedback in this last pane that your rate of success is determined.
We all have blind spots in our lives, not one of us is exempt from them.
Your mentor should have taken time to get to know you, and is most likely also working with you to grow your business. And if they’re more experienced than you are, they’ve likely seen other people in very similar situations to yours before. So when they provide you feedback, it’s probably not just based on your situation, but countless others.
But they’ve also had a chance to observe you, and make assessments based on your actions. It’s not always about the latest and greatest marketing strategies, tools, gadgets and widgets, although that’s what most people THINK they need.
What marketing strategy, tool, gadget or widget will help you grow your business, if when people finally get to talk to you they realize that your personality sucks? What if you’re a really abrasive person, and you need to fix THAT before you can be effective with prospecting? If your mentor doesn’t have your trust, then they really can’t help you achieve genuine success.
All they can do is pat you on the head, smile and nod at everything you tell them, and tell you that you have everything it takes to be successful already inside of you. And they’re right, you do, you just have to get over your own ego long enough to allow them to help you bring it out for the rest of the world to see.
So if you have a real mentor in your life, whose feedback you trust as accurate, but you’ve been going in the exact opposite direction of where they’ve been leading you, here’s what you should do if you really want success.
Call that person immediately, and apologize for being stupid. It’s ok to be stupid, but acknowledging that you’ve been stupid is a sign of maturity, and of your willingness to be unstupified. Then, let them know that you want their TOTAL AND HONEST feedback on your growth, your business, and what it is that you’ll need to do in order to reach your goals.
Take in that feedback, no matter how painful it may feel. Look yourself in the eyes, and really assess the truth in the feedback.
Then, commit to applying that feedback. Simple. Not easy, but simple.
How do you feel about my thoughts on mentorship? Leave me a comment and let me know!
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If you want me to be your Yoda, the first step is to partner with me here.
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